The Most Important Vows for a Healthy Relationship

The Most Important Vows for a Healthy Relationship

Welcome to Spring everyone! The birds are chirping, the flowers are blooming and in the United States, it’s wedding season; this season couples all across the country will vow to spend the rest of their lives together.

In the spirit of wedding season, in today’s episode, we will be talking about a different set of vows that are so important for a healthy relationship: the vows you make to yourself.

Whether we realize it or not, we make vows all the time. Whether it’s vowing to be a good employee, good student, good tenant to a landlord or most famously, to a significant other at the end of aisle, we are constantly making promises. These promises we make to other people are important, but there is no one more deserving of having your personal commitment than YOU. 

Check out the video and post below for the 3 Steps to Making Vows to Yourself:

1. Define Your Vows

Ok, so when I say vows, I am not talking about trivial issues like, “I vow to never date someone who won’t watch a Chick Flick”, I’m talking about solid, unwavering promises you make to yourself so you know you’ve got your back no matter what, or who, comes along. Here are a few vows to consider: “I vow to love and respect myself, no matter what”, “I vow to not give up my dreams and life, every time a new potential partner comes a long”, “I vow to trust my own intuition over someone else’s promises”. If you have a religion or belief system that is really important to you, be sure to consider those values when you make your vows.

2. Have a Vow Ceremony

This “ceremony” can be as simple or as elaborate as you would like. If you like to keep it simple, just writing down your vows is enough, but I highly recommend you write them down the old fashion way: a pen and paper. Many studies have shown that people who write down their goals are more likely to remember them and to follow through. Now, if you’re like me and you like a little more ritual, then make a ceremony of if! Light a candle, grab your favorite journal, write down your vows and then say them to yourself. I know it may sound a little cheesy, but this simple act of hearing your own voice, assuring yourself that you’re there for you no matter what is so powerful.

3. Stick to Your Vows

This step is the most important. Once you’ve made these commitments to yourself, it is time to follow through. Here’s where these vows become so important: if you’ve vowed to love and respect yourself, no matter what, you’re not going to stay in a relationship (or even get into one) where the person is not treating you with love and respect. If you’ve vows to not throw your dreams out the window the next time someone cute comes along, you won’t be quick to dive in and give up your whole life.

Thinking about your personal vows is always a great exercise, but I especially recommend it after a break up, before you start dating again. Know what you are promising yourself and follow through no matter who or what comes a long.

The commitments you are making to yourself now are truly the foundation for the loving, healthy relationship you will have in the future.

Now I want to hear from YOU! What are some of the vows you are making to yourself? What do you think is the most important promise we can remember throughout the dating process? Let me know in the comment below.